We're All Figments of Your Imagination, Kevin

A recent study at the Harvard Center for cognitive theory has conclusively proven  that we are all figments of your imagination, Kevin.

It's true. The numbers don't lie. Nor do the voices in your head that have no doubt been telling you the same thing for years.

The study, conducted by Dr. Philip Stark (who incidentally, is also a figment of your imagination) has generated astounding evidence intimately linking everybody in the world to you, Kevin.

Just as you've always suspected, as soon as you leave a room, that room ceases to exist

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin

until you return to it.

Places like China that you've never been to don't actually exist and won't actually exist until you go there at which point they will be spontaneously generated by your own thoughts and feelings at that moment. 

That movie you saw last week on Netflix, the one with Meg Ryan that you thought was so funny? Guess what. It was a figment of your imagination. So was Netflix.

And that girl you met at the bar who ended up dancing with your friend Chris instead of you? Both of them were figments of your imagination. So was the bar for that matter. So was the ABBA they were dancing to.

Furthermore, as backwards as it sounds,  your parents didn't exist until You were born Kevin. Nothing did.

Does this mean that you're some sort of God Kevin? Some sort of fundamental aspect of the universe and all creation is just a passing whim of yours? Are whole planetary systems built and destroyed in  some grand cosmic dance orchestrated by you and you alone? Can you temper the very fabric of space and time and bend matter to your will using nothing but the power of your magnificent mind, Kevin?

We don't know, you'll have to tell us because we're figments of your imagination too.