Nature Nurses Vulture causes shoot out

Hey guys, it's R. Myron again,

Just wanting to thank everybody for coming to last night's String Theory Festival.

It was one hell of a show. Rutger Hauer M.D. opened followed by Sluggy Baby. Next up was Kitty's Got An Erection followed by The Brown Gift and Sayonara Motherfucker.

Of course saving the best for last, Nature Nurses Vulture was (as usual) totally fucking creepy and hats off to those of you who stayed for the whole show.

For those who didn't, perhaps a little catch up is in order (especially for those of you who left friends behind and couldn't manage to contact them until early today).

So, after the first set, which ended with Vulture's timeless classic "Yes Vagina, There is a Santa Claus", the rest of the band took five while lead singer Karl Dumgrot dimmed the lights and announced to the audience that he was HIV positive (he's not).

Of course, no one else in the audience knew this and several of his ex-girlfriends (who happened to be there) FREAKED THE FUCK OUT.

One of the ladies who will remain nameless (at least until the inevitable court case releases its verdict) rushed the stage and proceeded to just BEAT THE LIVING SHIT out of Dumgrot calling him all sorts of things ("blood traitor" being my personal favorite).

Of course due in part to these colorful epithets, (as well as the fact that Vulture's shows tend to be a little hmm...should we say "theatrical"? ) At first everybody thought this was all part of the act.

It wasn't until Dumgrot grabbed the mic and managed in a squeeky voice to yell for help that security jumped to it and escorted the young lady off stage.

But that wasn't it. Not quite. On her way to the door the young lady in question managed to grab one of the security guards service pistols and PROCEEDED TO EMPTY AN ENTIRE CLIP in the direction of the stage miraculously hitting nothing.

So, nobody got hurt except for Dumgrot who arguably deserves it because jokes like that really aren't that funny (except when they are).

Concert goers were detained for a few hours following the "incident" to answer questions so that should probably explain why your friends didn't meet you for drinks afterwards like they said they would.

Regardless, the concert was wild, the music was crazy and the venue ("Contagion" between 1st and Gilly) was awesome.

Hope to see you at the next String Theory Festival which is slated for September 11. Venue to be announced!